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TOXIC CONNECTIONS and the ANTIDOTE

TOXIC CONNECTIONS

I should have trusted my instincts. Because the painful discovery that like poison ivy, some people are easier to avoid than to get rid of, cost me dearly.

Such people fall into a category I call, toxic connections!

You know the type: people who leave you thinking you’re not as smart as the are; or the ones that suck all the oxygen out of the room leaving you feeling weak and vulnerable (just as they intended); or those who knowingly create problems for you, then appear as your white knight as the only solution available while ensnaring you in an even worse problem. And these are only the obvious examples! The truly insidious ones are much, much worse.

These are the ones who build you up by telling you only what you want to hear, then pulling out the mental, emotional or financial rug from under you at the worst possible moment, leaving you gasping for breath with no friend in sight and no place to hide. Often such personalities are very clever in subtly setting the hook, so that you cannot even point out the time when the symptoms began.

Unwittingly, many years ago, my involvement many years ago with such an individual caused me more trouble than I could ever have imagined, underscoring the fact that truth is indeed stranger than fiction on this subject.  Happily I have terminatedly extricated myself from the immediate clutches of the toxicity – but still carry with me the psychic scars of the trauma.

This syndrome is something I have termed PTCS or “post toxic-connection syndrome“- if only to remind me of what I lived through and now recognize it for what it is. This essay is written to open others’ eyes for what to avoid and to expose such personalities for what they truly are: toxic connections.

THE SYMPTOMS

Be certain of one thing: when your life is failing, has become stressful, full of worry, self-doubt, trouble, or impending disaster – you have unwittingly been infected with the venom of a toxic connection.  And like the bite of a rattlesnake, failure to take effective action immediately can be fatal to your dreams, your goals and your life.

To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” – from the famed soliloquy by the Bard of Avon – requiring a cleansing of your psyche of the stain of a toxic connection – is something I would wish on no other person.  And the process of extricating yourself is more difficult than learning to avoid them in the first place.

The fact that there are bad people in the world doesn’t change just because it is a hard fact to face.  In hindsight the symptoms are obvious.  Your natural forgiving nature tends to justify the oddities and aberrations in others (“but they seemed so friendly and helpful”) while at the same time thinking that there must be something wrong with you!

People with toxic tendencies are constantly seeking out your weak points to expose any slight flaw in your character where you might be compromised. When found, the seduction is begun with one basic technique: they tell you what you want to hear.

Perhaps because of the aliveness, the élan vital of artists and other creative, productive people, they become magnets for the toxic individual.  For example, the  budding actor will often hear, “I’ve got the ear of the producer, I’ll get you in there,” or to the musician, “I know the producer of that festival, I’ll make sure you get top billing” or your ‘best friend’ who, under the guise of helping you, manages to sabotage your new creative project. Also in the world of business you’ll often hear, “I’ve got it on good authority that a stock split is going to happen soon, invest now and you’ll be set for life;” saying exactly what you wanted to hear and making you think you’re finally on the ‘inside track.’

Another particularly distasteful manipulation used by this personality type is the “religious affection trust,” or “affinity trust.”   It is a scam commonly used by the financial predator.  The trust of the group is gained and betrayed by someone first gaining your trust by representing him or herself as “a true believer, or someone just like you” – telling you just what you want to hear.   Strip away their social veneer and you won’t like what you see; under that pleasant manner and glib conversation you’ll find a vicious and diabolical plan to manipulate, control and fleece you, all the while masquerading as a force for good. You end up hearing what you want to hear, seeing what you want to see and ignoring the obvious facts and your natural instincts, all to your detriment.

The fact that you trust them effectively blinds you from really looking into the true nature of what they are really doing. Why?  It’s obvious.  No one wants to admit they are wrong.  You trusted him or her and that was a mistake.  This is one reason why people consistently overlook the clear indicators that something is rotten.  The three hardest words at say, evidently, are: “I was wrong.

Various other schemes and con games could easily fill a large text and are the stock in trade for the toxic personality – but they always operate basically the same way: They tell you want you want to hear. They do this in an attempt to get past your “BS detector” so they can set you up to be used, dominated by nullification and making nothing of your abilities and experience. They will stop at nothing to keep you from seeing what they are really doing (and it’s not a pretty sight). To them, you’re a disposable asset,  used and discarded for their own personal gain.

Remember: If you’re only hearing what you want to hear, you don’t know the whole story and you’re in danger of being set up.

Losing anything is painful.  Losing your dreams, your goals, your soul, is another thing entirely.  Facing the fact that some people just want to see you weak and failing is a bitter pill to swallow.  But, through some convoluted logic, some people just don’t want you to win.  They are totally self-interested, self-absorbed, dangerous and weak, and they can’t stand the spotlight of truth being shown in their direction.

The longer such individuals go undetected, the more deadly they become.  Ignore the symptoms at your peril, as things will only get worse with them around; they are a menace to your life, your standard of living, your mental and physical health. . . anything is better than staying connected with people like this.

Important note:  if you noticed some toxic characteristics of your own in this writing, you most surely are not one. Self-examination and correction is not a luxury these types can entertain or grasp, as in their minds, they are always right anyway, so they never feel the need to change.

Now that we’ve figured out what is going on, let’s examine the antidote to toxic connections.

THE ANTIDOTE

An antidote is something that counteracts or nullifies the effect of a poison or toxin and takes away the bad effect experienced earlier.  For example, if you know you’ve been infected with some known poison and take immediate action to get the antidote, you’ll survive the experience and perhaps even learn from it.

If you don’t recognize that you’ve been bitten by a toxic personality, and instead just try to ignore or cover up the symptoms, your mental, physical and financial life is in peril.  Pretending that you didn’t get bitten or calling it something else, will not help, in fact, it will allow it to worsen.  Being unwilling to avail yourself of a cure when you have the opportunity to do so is suicide.

The antidote process breaks down to four fundamental steps:

1.    WHAT is really going on?

wisdomAn ancient Chinese proverb says it best: “Wisdom begins by calling things by their right name.” Just being willing to recognize and call it for what it is will often diminish and even nullify the poison emanating from such toxic connections.

2.    WHO is causing the trouble?

Discovering exactly who or what is causing all the turmoil and trouble in your life will often diminish the stress instantly, but you still need to take action and do something. The only mistake you can make is to do nothing.

3.    HANDLE by whatever means possible.

Don’t wait. Use what you’ve got, where you are, right now! Avoid the toxic connection if feasible; move; get a transfer; even change jobs: get some effective counseling or a divorce if nothing else works; sometimes all you’re left with is threatened or actual legal action;  join a new group; make new friends; build up the positive connections and thereby diminish the negative. Again, the wrong thing to do is nothing.  Do what you’ve got to do when you’ve got to do it!

winning horse4.    CHANGE.  Get into motion; become active and create or produce more than you were doing before.  Change your life, your habits, your friends, your job, your location; gather up your old projects and get rid of them or get them done, exercise, talk to people, get outside, get up earlier in the morning,  join a group, read a book, write a journal, ride a bike, go on a trip, get on that horse and ride!  Do anything . . . but do something! This keeps morale high and your attention on the future instead of having it stuck in the past.  You’ll come out stronger than you were when you started.

But if nothing you can do will handle the situation you must sever the connection regardless of the consequences.  It is lethal not to do so.

Your future and your life depend upon taking action now. It is vital that once you have observed the situation correctly and come to a reasoned decision, you must act.  Either take effective action to handle them, or get rid of them.  Now!

Here is a quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, which supports this concept:

The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.  Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.  Begin it now!

And remember, the wrong thing to do is nothing!

Okay.  Got it?

Now, what are you waiting for?  Start!

Daniel Jacobs
(c) 2006, all rights reserved

Failure Is Not A Life-Sentence

As I’ve said many times, I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes; many of them. While I am sometimes wrong, I am never uncertain or afraid of failing. To me, failure is only a temporary setback, not a life sentence. The fact of failing is a condition, and conditions will change. Adopt this mindset and it will serve you as it has and continues to serve me, for life. 🙂

Daniel Jacobs, 2017

How To Attract Abundance

How is one supposed to feel when someone dies?

Especially when this person, completely out of his own self-interest, has created untoward turmoil, trauma, and upset in the lives of so many, all under the thinly veiled guise of help?

I suppose I would say my feelings are mixed.

On one side, maybe I should at least give slight applause or at least a tip of the hat, to acknowledge what could be a desperate attempt, a final solution to get himself honest and straight after living a life a pretense, lies, and deception and harming countless others in the process.

Perhaps we can speculate that at last he came to grips with his life and took a look at his actions  – without the mask of justification or explanation – and just couldn’t digest (or live with) what he had done to ruin so many lives. Then he stopped himself from bringing further harm to good people and simply took himself out of the picture for good.  But I doubt we’ll never know for sure.

He lived a pretend life; pretending to help, pretending to care, pretending to be honest, ethical, or truthful, even pretending to ever take the lives of others into consideration.

Then when he had the opportunity to take responsibility for his crimes, he took the coward’s way out and created a physical condition that ended his life.

Personally, I feel no sympathy or sadness at the news that he departed the area for good.

In fact, I’m strongly leaning toward a feeling of relief; relief that such a person is finally out of the picture. He will not again be spreading his brand of evil, destruction, turbulence, or negatively into my own life, my family and friends, and the lives of so many others . . . at least not for the foreseeable future anyway.

Post-script:

To whatever slight degree, when such a person exists or has existed in your life, your natural tendency is to attempt to stop any connection or connection with that person. While this is a reasonable action, there is a hidden negative connotation attached to this.

When you put out an intention to stop something, especially when it has gone on for a long time, you have to have to maintain some slight degree of attention on the area, if only to remind yourself to be alert and vigilant in making sure the “stop” does not weaken or become lax.

Now then, an interesting mechanism takes place when you do this. The fact that you put out an intention to stop any negative inflow of undesired communication from this troublesome source, can morph into a generalized stop.

The unintended consequences of this process is, at least to some degree, that you also begin to stop attracting any positive inflow from coming to you.

The short story is this: if you set up an intention to stop an inflow (i.e. from a troublesome source), then by definition, this also stops both your outflow and inflow from this and adjacent areas.  A “stopped flow” is a “stopped flow” whether an inflow or an outflow.

Further, you begin to limit your own expansion by becoming “careful of” making the same mistake again. Happily, the moment you recognize what is really happening your “flows” will start to open up to positive inflow.

And almost magically you begin to attract abundance in terms of positive inflows heading your way, very soon!

And that is something we can all use more of, right?

Daniel Jacobs

(c) 2015, all rights reserved

ONE-ARMED ECONOMISTS

What is really going on behind the scenes:

Devalue the dollar by printing more without end in sight, then accumulate assets for pennies on the dollar, default on the dollar, and base the next fraudulent currency on the asset base you have now essentially stolen from everyone else.  This is their (Big Ben and the Treasury) solution to all financial woes.  The only thing is, they don’t realize that a wrong solution only creates a bigger problem requiring an even more desperate solution; exactly where we are right now.

I just had to post this article as it agrees with my viewpoints on the matters perfectly. – d. jacobs

ONE-ARMED ECONOMISTS

Jun 7th 2010, 12:38

by Buttonwood

HARRY Truman famously asked to be sent a one-armed economist, having tired of exponents of the dismal science proclaiming “On the one hand, this” and “On the other hand, that”. Economists are more inclined to stock their neck out these days (being a celebrity pundit is a good living) but I am not sure that has reduced the confusion.

Last week, we launched our economics channel with a debate on whether inflation or deflation is the greater threat. Scroll through the contributions and you will discover either that “Tough deflationary times lie ahead” or that “Eventual inflation is inevitable”.  Since this is the central question of economic policy at the moment, such a discordance of views is rather disturbing; much is made of the debate on global warming but the scientific consensus is overwhelmingly on one side on that issue. On economics, governments are being forced to choose in matters of fiscal austerity, where the debate is almost 50-50.

Perhaps that is why the markets are presenting such a confusing picture. Investors face the choice of whether to buy government bonds on very low yields (the 10-year bond is offering 3.2%) or gold at over $1,200, close to a record nominal high. (When gold peaked in 1980, the 10-year bond was yielding 10.8%.) Some argue that equities must be cheap, given that profits are booming and that shares have gone nowhere for a decade. But if the template is Japan-style deflation, shares can go backwards for 20 years.

The debate is really between the “output-gappers” who argue that inflation simply cannot be created when the economy is running so far below potential and the “credit bubble” group who argue that central bank money creation will inevitably result in higher prices. This debate cannot be settled by analysis of past trends; it is so difficult to isolate one economic variable and say what its effect wiill be. (As mentioned before, Greece, which is combining fiscal currency with a fixed exchange rate, is an interesting case study.)

My take, for what it’s worth, is that deflation is more likely in the short run, especially as the broad money supply numbers remain so weak. Inflation may come much later, but only as the authorities get more and more deseprate. Alas, that puts me in the two-handed camp that sent Truman into despair. But the purpose of the blog is not to pretend that one journalist has all the answers; it is, more humbly, to try and provoke thought and debate among the readers, to point them towards interesting outside observations and to “join the dots” in terms of finding different market and economic themes.

Ignore At Your Peril

When I discover something of unusual importance, I always pass it along to my friends. This one fits the criteria.

Everybody has a few oddities and fortunately, they are often relatively benign.  But occasionally some of them are less innocent.

Basically, oddities are indications of something out of the ordinary. If it’s an innocent habit or some other less serious thing, they can be ignored without liability.  But when they are subtle indications of a more serious situation, then you should pay attention to them.

If they are intentionally dismissed or explained away without inspection, you could end up with an untold amount of trouble and expense; or in extreme cases with your life in ruins.  Ignore at your peril.

When witnessed  in others, these oddities leave you thinking, “What’s up with that?” or “What’s really going on here?” or “Why did he (or she) say that anyway?” or, “What really did they mean by that?”

When you see or sense something that just doesn’t seem to add up or make sense, don’t ignore it.  If you look carefully, you’ll often discover a situation that unknowingly puts you, your group or your family in real danger.  It could be just someone’s way of handling things which is careless or reckless, endangering others unnecessarily.  When questioned they often say things like, “But, that’s the way I’ve always done it,” or “That’s the way I grew up.” or some other oddball explanation that does nothing to improve the situation.

Other times, what you uncover may be far more sinister.

They may be involved in some questionable or even illegal practices or activities that would expose you to liability even if you didn’t have direct knowledge of what was going on.  Stranger things have happened.

You must not ignore these signals.  They may be the only visible evidence you’ll get.

There are three steps to dealing with them:

1) The first time you notice an oddity of some kind, it may be excusable, but make a mental note anyway.

2) The second time it happens, something is going on; it’s not just coincidence.  Become suspicious; investigate and gather more information.

3) The third time it occurs, something is very wrong.  Get on full alert. Gather your wits and stay calm, but investigate fast and take immediate action to handle what you find. The danger lights are on. There is some big secret you’re not supposed to know about, you’re being set up, someone is trying to nullify you or bring you down, or worse, do you in.

Use whatever resources you have available to minimize or end the danger.  Don’t just hope it will go away by itself, it won’t.  Take immediate effective action to safeguard your interests before it’s too late.  You may not get a second chance.

This may mean that you need to cut your losses or your connection if the situation is so complex that can’t be fully handled without support from others.  But don’t ignore it, the worst thing you can do is nothing.  Do what you have to do when you’ve got to do it.  And do it without flinching, avoiding or neglecting it, once you know what is going on.

After the danger has passed and things have calmed down,  reorganize your life with the resolution to be more vigilant in the future, and stick to it.

Consider yourself warned.

Daniel Jacobs, 2010

PRIDE BEFORE A FALL

The Bible verse (King James version) says it this way: “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

I would put it this way: Common sense goes out the window when success goes to your head.

Here is a real-life example.  When I first began traveling on business to Geneva, Switzerland in the ’90’s, the business giant Digital was in evidence everywhere you looked.  Employees of the company dominated the housing in the city, driving up prices while at the same time providing an economic windfall for the average businesses.

But I noticed an important signal that for me was a telling sign for the future of that mega-company.  Everywhere I went, I saw employees of Digital wearing t-shirts with this saying boldly (and arrogantly) displayed:

“WE’RE DIGITAL AND YOU’RE NOT!”

This spoke volumes to me.  It told me that Digital as a company was on its way DOWN.  The arrogance and pride made them blind to factors that should not have been ignored.  And it did take them down.  For within a short time (a couple years at the most), Digital was gone.  It no longer existed as a company.  Almost overnight, the company shut down and all the employees sold their houses and left Geneva.  It was an amazing change.  To me, it served as evidence of the saying, “pride goes before a fall.

I am posting this blog and the article to follow so that Americans as a nation do not suffer the same fate.

The article entitled, “American Capitalism Gone With A Whimper” is a chilling condemnation of what once was the land of the free and the home of the brave.  A proud nation one the flag-bearer of the torch of freedom on planet Earth, has now become the home of minions, looking for a free lunch, blindly following the whim and dictate of criminals elected to power by a slumbering electorate.  This old saying captures the essence well: when everyone thinks they’re a dog, they’ll elect a dog.

Why am I not surprised with the cesspool of degraded criminals now “running” this country?  And I’m not just talking about our current administration.  It’s been increasingly true on an accelerating rate for as long as I’ve been aware of such things.   I’m afraid this great ship of state is approaching the precipice and is soon going down with all flags struck.  Soon it will be impossible to recover and our lives will forever be dramatically altered for the worse.  So went Greece, Rome, Russia, England, and now . . . sadly . . . America. – daniel w. jacobs

The irony of this article appearing in the English edition of Pravda (Russian on-line newspaper) defies description. Why can a Russian newspaper print the following yet the American media can’t/won’t see it?

http://neveryetmelted.com/wp-images/ObamaLenin2.jpg
American Capitalism Gone With A Whimper

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American descent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years.
The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather than the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas than the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their “right” to choke down a McDonalds burger or a Burger King burger than for their constitutional rights.   Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our “democracy”.  Pride blind the foolish.
Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different “branches and denominations” were for the most part little more than Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more than happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the “winning” side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the “winning” side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power.
Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America …The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama.  His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America’s short history but in the world.  If this keeps up for more than another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Weimar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.
These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all.  First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, losses, and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars.  These make our Russian oligarchs look little more than ordinary street thugs, in comparison.  Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes.  Should we congratulate them?
These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties, and powers of the American congress (parliament).  Again, congress has put up little more than a whimper to their masters.Then came Barack Obama’s command that GM’s (General Motors) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of “pure” free markets, the American president now has the power, the self-given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will.
Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.So it should be no surprise, that the American president has followed this up with a “bold” move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies.  I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less than two months ago, warned Obama and UK ‘s Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our “wise” Anglo-Saxon fools find outthe folly of their own pride.
Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper….but a “free man” whimper.
So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set “fair” maximum salaries, evaluate performance, and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses?
Senator Barney Frank, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort.  He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.
The proud American will go down into his slavery without a fight, beating his chest, and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is.  The world will only snicker.

Simón Bolívar

The South American independence hero Simón Bolívar (1783-1830) once wrote: ‘The difficulties could not frighten me, the greatness of the work excited my passion.  The fires of true passion will incinerate all difficulties and trials.”

Simón Bolívar was the liberator of South America from the yoke of Spain.  The able book, “The Four Seasons of Manuela” is a biography of his life with Manuela.  Bolívar is credited with contributing decisively to the independence of the present-day countries of Venezuela, Columbia, Ecuador, Peru, and Bolivia and is revered as a national hero in them.

From Wikipedia: Bolívar described himself in his many letters as a “liberal” who believed in a “free market.” He was an admirer of the American Revolution and a great critic of the French Revolution. He considered Thomas Jefferson so important that he sent his nephew to the University of Virginia. However, Bolivar differed in political philosophy from the leaders of the Revolution in the United States on two important matters: First of all, he was staunchly anti-slavery, despite coming from an area of Spanish America that relied heavily on slave labour.

Second and perhaps more notably, while he was an admirer of the United States, he did not believe that its system could function in Latin America.[8] Bolivar felt that the United States, compared to his new nation, was established in a land that was much better suited for democracy, a land and people that could survive in a much looser, more liberal government.

By contrast, he referred to Spanish America as having been subject to the “Triple yoke of ignorance, tyranny, and vice.” If a republic could be established in such a land, in his mind, it would have to make some concessions in terms of liberty. This is shown when Bolivar blames the fall of the first republic on his subordinates trying to imitate “some ethereal republic” and in the process, not paying attention to the gritty political reality of South America.

Among the books he traveled with were Adam Smith‘s “The Wealth of Nations;” Voltaire’s “Letters,” and when he wrote the Bolivian Constitution, Montesquieu‘s Spirit of the Laws.[9] His Bolivian Constitution placed him within the camp of what would become Latin American conservatism in the later nineteenth century. The Bolivian Constitution had a lifelong presidency and a hereditary senate, essentially recreating the British unwritten constitution, as it existed at the time, without formally establishing a monarchy. It was his attempts to implement a similar constitution in Gran Colombia that led to his downfall and rejection by 1830.

In regards to his immigration policy for Colombia, he viewed the immigration of North-Americans and Europeans as necessary for improving the country’s economy, art and sciences[10], following the steps of the Latin-American criollo elites who accepted without questions many of the evolutionist, social and racial theories of their time.